the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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