He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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