I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
