I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
