Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Randomize
