I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
