Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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