Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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