accomplished twins. life is a go
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
