what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
