Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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