Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
