whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i drank out of a bidet.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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