Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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