i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
