Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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