They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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