a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize