THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
