I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
