We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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