i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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