Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
