I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
