i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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