He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
