pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize