That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize