what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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