I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
