I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
