go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
