i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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