I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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