you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
