I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
