lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
