3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize