Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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