I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
