Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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