i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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