i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
