And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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