weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
smell my finger.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Sober January is a disaster.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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