He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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