Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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