its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
