no, he came in my armpit
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize