The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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