she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize