I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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