She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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