I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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