Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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