Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
