Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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