ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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