Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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