Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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