no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I AM VODKA MAN
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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