Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
