I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
