Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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