The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
