tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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