Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
