Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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