We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
