You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize