Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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