i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
