Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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