found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
