Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
